Judegment or Observation
Once again, it is the story of what got you to this level may be holding you back from getting to the next level. This time, we are talking about the subtle but important difference between observation and judgment. I work with a lot of high achievers who routinely judge themselves negatively after every little failure. A missed putt on the course or a misspoken word in the boardroom will be noticed and punished most severely by the high achiever that made the mistake. This type of self evaluation may have been exactly what was needed at one point to motivate the person to achieve, but now this self-deprecation is holding them back from the next level. Judgment, in this case, is when you take an event (like missing a putt) and evaluate yourself as a failure because of it. Saying things like “That sucks” or “I suck” is a judgment. It’s absolutely normal to judge yourself in these situations, and if you want to be absolutely normal you can stop reading now. However, if normal isn’t good enough the next section is for you.
When we judge an outcome it emotionally charges the observation by activating a specific area in the brain designed to respond to emotion (amygdale). This emotional charge signals the brain to automatically store the memory. The problem is that we charge negative judgments much more than positive ones. The reason for this is that the negative outcome is a surprise, and surprise focuses our attention and sharpens our memory. The other problem is that this emotional charge sets in motion a cascade of events that ultimately can create more negative behavior, especially with precision movements like golf. The cascade of events includes releasing stress hormones that increase muscle tension and decrease our ability to think rationally. On the other hand, observation is more cerebral. It is simply an objective evaluation of what happened. It helps us to stay calm, understand the cause and effect of the event, and get better because of it. With observation, that same missed putt becomes a source of information rather than a source of punishment. The bottom line is this: A single event can work for you or against you. The great ones make these events work for them by observing what happened and getting better because of it.
Tags: achiever, feedback, human nature, improvement, judgment, observation
Oct 05, 2010
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Oct 13, 2010
It seems like even a pro like me can still be taught a few things. Many thanks for your post.
Oct 15, 2010
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Oct 17, 2010
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Oct 18, 2010
nice article, keep the posts coming
Oct 19, 2010
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Oct 20, 2010
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Oct 23, 2010
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Oct 24, 2010
This is a great article. Thanks for sharing this.
Nov 03, 2010
Great way of informing me about Judgments and Observations. I put myself down a lot of times when I don’t succeed of achieve what I would have expected myself to achieve. It’s good to know that I’m not the only person that puts myself in these states of harsh judgments. Reading through this particular blog will help give me the knowledge to take observations and positively develop an outcome so that I can improve whatever it is that I need to improve on. Thanks Dr. G!
Nov 03, 2010
I think establishing great judgment comes from failure. Learning, or in some cases failing at something allows you to judge yourself in a more positive manner. Every day we judge ourselves and others. When we fail, instead of taking the positive path and say “ok what can I do to improve” we instead judge ourselves and sometimes give up. We fall to learn to get back up on that horse and try again….Don’t judge!
Nov 03, 2010
Although the normal action is to pass judgment on yourself and others the smartest and most logical option is observation. Observation of those mistakes that you and others make will not only help in the learning aspect of life but also in the living. Once you learn to observe rather than judge living a lifestyle of observing will be easier and healthier. Observation will promote success rather than failure and growing rather than staying the same. In a world where judgment seems to rule, we have a choice to observe and grow and become stronger individuals because of it.
Nov 03, 2010
As the saying goes “You are your own worst enemy.” I find this very true in my life. I have always been hard on myself and expect best. When I didn’t achieve that, I would kick myself for making a mistake that I felt I shouldn’t have made. But now that I understand that I can observe rather than judge, I am going to start observing my errors and using them as an opportunities to learn. I think people have a choice… be your own worst enemy or be your own strongest ally.
Nov 06, 2010
Like everything, it comes down to your attitude and outlook on events. The optimitst who “feeds the good dog” rises while the individual who looks for the negative things digs themselves a deeper and deeper hole. The common thing between the positive person and negative person is that they both want to succeed. The only small difference between the person who succeeds is their attitude, which is a choice. Challenges provide opportunities for growth. Making observations rather than judgements is one of many things that can do to improve our attitude and grow.
Nov 07, 2010
Most of the time, judgment is based on observation. It is a biased opinion that can have different results from different observer. Judgment is emotionally charged where what you feel and think works together. To be able to observe, you need to put your feelings aside and state a fact. In reality, it is difficult to simply observe because we tend to decide and speak with both our logic and emotion playing at the same time. If a person can master an act of passing out a simple observation where we try to analyze things logically, it does make us a better person.
Nov 07, 2010
We pass judgement by human nature. In the event that it’s unintentional, passing judgement is performed as a defense mechanism. For example, at the beginning of the semester we had an activity and we were asked to perform the “Marvin affect”(stand while talking to project your voice). After I spoke to the class I thought to myself, “I just looked stupid”, and I felt disappointed in myself. I spoke with a fellow classmate and she told me that was not the case at all! In this particular incident, I think the issue is that I have a tendency to put more pressure on ourself, I am my biggest critic. I believe this is true to many and it is something we are all guilty of. I think we analyze ourself harshly to protect our feelings. It is easier to say, “I just looked stupid”, “I suck”, and other demeaning things, rather than hear it from someone else.
Part of the issue is our mind set. When we pass judgment on ourselves we are thinking negatively. We should do the exact opposite and see things in a positive fashion. Making an obervation lacks the emotional charge, it is a learning experience. Overall, it is best to make observations rather than judgements to reach your optimum level of success. Getting there starts with altering your mindset because you see what you look for.
Nov 07, 2010
I think this is a great blog and I really need to start observing myself instead of judging. Usually after my games and practices I judge myself extremely hard because I know I can get better and don’t want to settle for mediocrity. However after reading this blog all that I’m doing is hurting myself and I need to start observing myself from now on in order for me to get better and improve.
Nov 07, 2010
This is a great article explaining how people can get over the hump of being good, to becoming great. I personally had issues in the past trying to get to the next step but always knocked myself down every time I messed up here or there. After a while, it started to get to me and I wasn’t improving at all. Out of blue, I began to really focus on the journey of accomplishing my goals and not being so judgmental about every move I made. I tried to enjoy the process and learn from my mistakes instead of making it a big problem like I had done in the past. Although, I have been more of an observer recently, I do have those times that I lapse to the judgmental side but I always try to work to staying calm and positive and trying to get benefits from me failing. It has really helped with my game and I really feel like if I keep working at it, eventually I will make it to where I need to be.
Nov 08, 2010
To be great requires taking the next step to improve. To do this, you need to do some self-evaluation. For me, judgment is more subjective. You let your thoughts and emotions get in the way of what you’re trying to accomplish. Observation is more objective. You are focused on the goal rather than yourself. Although it is easier to judge, it is more beneficial to observe. Observation puts into account of others not just yourself. It requires contemplation. It is thinking before speaking; that way you are in a calmer, more positive state of mind. I know that sometimes I “judge the book by its cover” before getting to know someone. I feel bad doing this because most of the time, I am proven wrong. When I judge, I criticize and I let my ego get in the way. But, if I do more observing, I can have the chance to get to know the person well and allow myself to be more open to possibilities.
Nov 08, 2010
This discussion makes a lot of sense. At the end of the discussion post I related to different adversities that I will face in every area of my life. Rather than taking adversity as something with a negative sense tied to it I can look at the situation as a challenge and/or opportunity. Working through adversity will make me a stronger individual. To lead myself I have to learn how to deal with good and bad situations and how I can use them to better myself as an individual. This can be related to the “Good dog/Bad dog” topic as well. I can have an optimistic attitude about events and situations or I can be negative and create excuses. Attitude is one of the very few things that we have complete control over in life and to become great, I have to be great in every part of my life. Thank you for the discussion post.
Nov 08, 2010
When reading this blog the first thing that comes to mind is good, better, how. Instead of judging yourself it would be better to go through those steps. Its crazy how much we judge ourselves and especially others. I am very judgemental towards myself when i play volleyball and come to think of it i could have been a much better player if i wouldnt have been so hard on myself. To be great you have to let yourself have a little judgement but at the same time too much can hurt you. I definitely do more observing in my life now and not so much judging.
Nov 08, 2010
I try to used more observing than judging in my life. It seems that observing takes less out of you mentally, emotionally, and physically than judging. Also, I try to learn from the observations for example after every triathlon event I log what I can do better, anything that was unique to the race, etc. However, I have also noticed that people take observations personally. They feel that it is more of a judgement. And sometimes they get very upset with me. So I feel that I have to say a disclaimer of, “this is only my observeration nothing else.” When getting involved in judging, I feel more drained. And usually, I beat myself up pretty badly. I guess I do this so if someone else decides to judge me it will not hurt as bad because I already did it. Anyway, changing to observe more than to judge is more productive.
Nov 08, 2010
Most of the time, judgment is based on observation. It is a biased opinion that can have different results from different observer. Judgment is emotionally charged where what you feel and think works together. To be able to observe, you need to put your feelings aside and state a fact. In reality, it is difficult to simply observe because we tend to decide and speak with both our logic and emotion playing at the same time. If a person can master an act of passing out a simple observation where we try to analyze things logically, it does make us a better person. Truth is, we are our own biggest critic. We tend to be hard on ourselves that we focus more on the negative part resulting in judgment. To be positive, we have to start giving ourselves observation feedback rather than putting ourselves down.
Nov 08, 2010
When you were talking about how self evaluating yourself is probably what got us to where we are right now, I strongly agree with that. And then you were saying that it’s the self deprecation that holds us back from proceeding to the next level, I can relate because every little mistake I make really bugs me to the point where I beat myself up about it and I know that doing so doesn’t help me in any way. What I should be doing is your, “Good Better How” concept. Knowing that it’s these situations that will work for us or work against us makes it all easier to understand on what your trying to get at about judging or observing. Thanks Mark… Good sh*t…
Nov 08, 2010
We as people are our biggest critics. The first thing we will turn to do is judge our performance based upon another individual and access are amount of success, based on the over all results. By focusing on the negative aspect people will hold themselves back from achieving all they possibly can. By taking a step back and observing how we can get better from the situation we can grow. For myself, I tend to be really hard on myself if things are not always going my way. I expect great things of myself and sometimes put more stress on me then I can handle. If I would just take a closer look at the over all picture, I would observe myself and use my mistakes as things I could do to improve. To get to that next level I must let go of my judgement and observe.
Nov 08, 2010
I know that I often use judgement rather than observation. There’s been many times where I knock myself down for something I should have or shouldn’t have done, and have let it get to me. I’ve found that doing this, usually gets me nowhere. It doesn’t let me learn or benefit from whatever it was that I failed at. Learning about the whole concept of “judgement or observation” has put a new perspective on things for me. With judgement, comes negative feelings and a poor mindset. But observation allows for more of a positive mindset and a learning experience. With observation comes the opportunity to learn from my mistakes and get better because of it. I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot lately, and it has really altered my mindset. I find that by being less judgmental on myself and more observant, I’m able to learn from my mistakes and benefit from them. It also creates an overall better mindset for me, rather than the negativity that comes with judgement.
Nov 08, 2010
Thanks Mark, Good sh*t…. Love it Jeff.
When looking to improve myself I often find that it takes a little bit of judgement to come to a “healthy and unbias” observation. I find that judgement can be a bad thing when we allow it to make ourselves look at all the negative and not turn it around for the positive. When making an observation, we must have in some way judged ourselves. Often times when we are in class and I am listening to the discussions, i tend to ask myself “what do I do in this situation” or “am I like that”. Once i have asked myself a particular question about a topic, i tend to judge myself upon whether it is a good or bad thing and then make an observation about the subject as to WHY I do these things.
I think everything has a balance and it is truly how we utilize our self evaluation the determines the outcome of our self-esteem in situations.
Nov 08, 2010
great blog! I remember we talked about what got you to where you are now can be what is holding you back from moving on and growing, but relating it to observation vs judgement really helped me to create a image of exactly what that means. I use observation toward others but i think it eventually turns to judgement because i judge myself so hard on what one will say if i approach them that i never get to fulfill my observation of others because i never approach them and stick to my judgement which is often some type of negative thinking or poor excuse. Doing this has helped me to get where i am now but maybe now it is holding me back from my next level of growth. It is going to be my journey to be more observant and less judgemental toward others and especially toward myself…Thanks for the blog Mark! To everyone else thanks for the postings!
Nov 08, 2010
With ever outcome of a situation, we can take it as judgement or an observation. If we choose to make it positive and take the outcome as a learning situation, we observe it. We must change our thought process to change the way we feel about the outcome of the situation. I love the saying, “We change our thoughts, we change our lives.” It is SO true! Attitude is the one thing we can control and when we choose the have positive self-talk, our lives change. Our thoughts shift. We see the world in a whole new light. We talk to ourselves more than anyone else, we must monitor what we say to ourself. Make it positive. Make it an observation.
Nov 08, 2010
I agree with this article because observation is better then judgment. Judging is more emotionally charged and observing is a more logical aspect to evaluating a situation.
Nov 10, 2010
I think this is an important article because it takes a simple concept and just lays out different options that a person can take to get to the next level or stay stuck in the same level. People need to grow and in order to do that, we have to be able to observe and handle situations and learn from it. Often times, I will make the mistake to jump to judging when I could have learned so much more from an outcome if I had spend the time to observe it first.